Losing

Losing. It's the worse feeling ever. I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel so powerless and small. I don't like it when I can't do anything to change something.
Being competitive, losing is not welcomed by my system. After a loss, I tend to scavenge for something else that can revive my streak. I must remain in a status that is of prestige. I know it sounds sad, but that's who I am.
But what's worse than simply losing? Losing someone. My life has been a whirlwind. I've gained new friends but also, I've lost some old ones. This never really bothered me before. I was always able to get over it. Usually, this is because the people I lose in my life tend to be of less importance than the people who are part of my life. Now, it's a whole different story. It's high school. I became closer to the people around me because I mastered the art of socializing. But this just makes everything harder. As I become close to people, one way or another, in some time, external factors can break the relationships. And like losing, losing someone makes me helpless. I can't do anything else but to suck it up and let go. If the person comes back, then fine. Thank God for that. But if not, then I guess that person was never meant to be part of my life in the first place. :(
Losing is absolutely awful. Losing people is the absolute worst. :/